Playmaker, p.25
Playmaker, page 25
“This is—” She shakes her head in disbelief.
“We enjoyed the view of the canyon, so I figured this would be even better. We can see practically all of Arizona in this.” She still isn’t saying anything, and suddenly, I begin to panic. I know Maddie like the back of my hand, and she never said anything growing up about having a fear of heights, but maybe she does. Maybe I got this all wrong.
“If you don’t want to, we don’t—”
“Are you kidding? This is the coolest thing anyone has ever done for me. I love it, Cam.”
“You do?”
I don’t know why I’m surprised considering I could take Maddie to the park for a damn ice cream and she’d be overjoyed. She doesn’t ask for much, and it’s the little things that matter to her, but it’s for that reason that she deserves the fucking world.
“Yes!” she squeals with excitement. The passenger door swings open, and it’s comical since she can’t move as fast as she wants to with the walking boot. She shuffles out of the car, tapping her free foot impatiently.
Hand in hand we head over to our pilot, and I help lift Maddie into the gondola then climb in beside her. We listen to the safety basics before the burners come to life, and since this is a private ride, we have a decent amount of space between us and the pilot when we lift off the ground. Maddie gasps, and I assume it’s because of the foreign feeling, but she’s pointing to a basket on the bottom of the gondola, holding two flutes and a bottle of champagne.
“You really thought of everything,” she muses. Then, when her voice drops lower, she adds, “You know I can’t drink yet, right?”
I raise my eyebrows in challenge. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”
Breaking the rules has never been something she’s comfortable with, but doing so with me seems to make her giddy with adrenaline. She bites on her lower lip and gives a subtle nod, and as we rise farther off the ground, I pour two glasses and hand one to her.
“I expected it to be loud,” she whispers, staring at the ground disappearing below us, “but it’s quiet. Peaceful, even.”
I step up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist, bending down to place my head on top of hers. From up here the world seems so large and full of opportunities. It’s mine for the taking, and yet I still don’t feel like it’s completely mine. Things worked out with Maddie, but my life has been planned out since I was a kid. Arizona is my dad’s favorite team, so I’ve been pushed to get drafted by them. What if I don’t want to live in Arizona, though? What if I’m like my mom and want to live near fresh grass or even the ocean? I’ve allowed myself to follow my dad’s wishes because if I couldn’t make my mom’s dreams come true, at least I could make his come true.
“Do you like Arizona?” I find myself asking her.
She takes a few seconds to admire the insanely gorgeous view and says, “Up here? Yes. When we’re at the Grand Canyon? Yes. The landscape here can be stunning, but I like it in Connecticut more. It’s beautiful when it snows, and my school is close to the water too.”
“Would you want to live there someday?”
She twists in my arms to face me, the gentle breeze from the burners keeping us warm. “Maybe. I haven’t really thought that far ahead yet. Why do you ask?”
“I think it’s important to know considering we’re in a relationship now, right?”
She tilts her head to the side. “Would my opinion change anything? You’ve been planning to get drafted by Arizona since high school.”
I wouldn’t have asked the question if her opinion didn’t matter. Maddie being my girlfriend feels like a dream that’s too good to be true. I never imagined we’d get here—flying in a hot air balloon and speaking about the future—but as our relationship continues to develop, I’ve come to the realization that I can’t see myself playing for Arizona if she’s not next to me. I’ve spent years without her, and the misery that caused is a feeling I never want to experience again.
Knowing where she wants to live one day is going to be a huge factor, and for the first time, it’s one that could sway my decision.
“Your opinion would change everything,” I tell her firmly.
Fears of this going too fast race through my mind, but Maddie was mine long before I made the first move in the closet. We’ve known each other since we were kids, and our feelings developed slowly over time. Now that those feelings are finally out in the open after years of keeping them locked away, I want it all with her.
I just need to get the courage to tell her I’m in love with her. I need to have better self-esteem and believe I can be the guy to provide her with everything she’ll ever need.
“I wouldn’t want to live in Arizona,” she says, “but if you were signed to them, I’d manage to find a way to make it work.”
“Manage it how?”
“Well, just like we’ll have to manage in a few days when we go back to school. I’ll drive to you some weekends, or you’ll drive to me when you’re free. If you’re drafted to Arizona, I’ll find the time to break away from school and fly out for your games and stay for breaks or any free time I have.”
Right. Because Maddie is studying to become a doctor, which requires a hell of a lot more schooling than a degree in physical education.
“And when you’re done with school?”
She laughs. “This is a deep conversation for wanting to take things slow.” Then, after a beat she adds, “When I’m done with school, I suppose where I end up will be determined by my relationship status at the time. Who knows who I’ll be with at that point?”
I narrow my eyes while she attempts to hide a smile. “Was that supposed to be a joke? If so, it was a cruel one.”
“I’m not trying to be cruel! I guess I’m just surprised you’re thinking that far ahead. You aren’t the type to get serious with anyone.”
“Didn’t I say before you weren’t like the others? I want a future with you, Maddie, I’m just afraid I won’t be able to give you what you want out of life. I don’t want to let you down and fuck this up.”
The wind blows a few strands of hair in her face, so I gently push them behind her ear at the same time she reaches up to cup my cheek. “You’re always going to be enough for me, even at your lowest, Cameron.”
I can’t breathe as she holds my gaze, and I have to bite down on my tongue with so much force to stop myself from saying I love her. Withholding it feels more and more futile when my actions speak differently, but until I can find the strength to get out from beneath my father’s thumb and become an independent person capable of providing her with the world, I refuse to admit it. I’m terrified of fucking things up. Terrified of commitment. Terrified of what’s growing between us and being unable to stop myself from falling head over heels for her.
But despite the fear, I’ve waited my entire life for this opportunity, and if I continue to push through all this uncertainty, I’ll have to reach the better side eventually, right?
Clearing my throat of the emotion clogging it, I reach down to grab the champagne and top off our glasses. “What should we toast to?”
She hums appreciatively, bringing the glass inches from her lips. “The future.”
“I like that,” I say, clinking my glass against hers. “To the future, baby.”
—
Now that we’ve rekindled our friendship and started a relationship as adults, I’m learning new things about Maddie the more time we spend together. She enjoys reality television now, and the books she reads have become far more scandalous than the ones she read in middle school.
And now, as she erupts into a fit of giggles walking back to the car, I’ve discovered she’s a lightweight.
“Careful.” I bite back a laugh when she stumbles in the gravel, but it quickly subsides when she presses me up against the side of the car, her hands landing on my chest. “You okay?”
“More than okay,” she says, working at the buttons of my shirt. It’s pitch black outside now, and with the pilot already gone for the night, we’re alone in the middle of a field with not a soul around us for miles.
My cock thickens at the possibilities.
“Mads,” I warn when her nails drag down my abs. “If you keep doing that I’ll—”
“Give me what I want?” she teases. “I don’t see anyone else out here, do you? There’s a perfectly suitable car behind you, and I fully intend to make good use of it.”
Fucking hell.
I’m opening the door of the backseat before I can think twice about it. The possibility of getting caught and having the cops called on us should make me take a pause to consider the consequences, but I’ll accept any consequences that follow if it means I’ll be able to fool around in the backseat with her.
“You’re so fucking hot,” she groans, as if it’s painful, shoving me down. After only two small glasses of champagne, there’s no way she’s drunk. Tipsy maybe, but not drunk. I can’t tell if her confidence is from the small bit of alcohol or becoming more comfortable with this and doing it with me.
I sincerely hope it’s the latter.
Even lying across the backseat, my legs still can’t be stretched out the entire way. I keep both legs bent with one foot on the floor, allowing her to straddle my thighs. Her hands find the buckle of my belt, desperately trying to undo it.
“I want you,” she pants. “So badly.”
“You have me,” I reassure her. “All of me.”
Her eyes briefly flick to mine at the admission, but she’s too wrapped up in lust to process it, and so am I. I lift up my hips to drag my pants and briefs down, springing myself free, and just as I’m about to push her onto her back, she surprises me and flings her underwear to the front seat before grabbing my cock with greedy fingers.
“I want to try this,” she whispers shakily, lining herself up with my cock.
“Wait,” I blurt, cursing myself for stopping this. “Condom. Fuck. Please grab it before I change my mind. Jeans pocket.”
She giggles, the sound making me even harder. “You brought one?”
“I’m learning to take one everywhere with me when it comes to you.”
She finds it and passes it over, and when I’m finally protected, she lines herself up again. “If I’m bad at it, then—”
“There’s no possible way you could be bad at this. Trust me.” Not when it’s her. Not when I’ve been fantasizing about her riding me since freshman year. This is new for her, and I have to keep reminding my dick of that when its only urge is to slam into her and fuck her senseless.
So I tamp down those urges and allow her to touch me wherever she pleases. I let her explore those lines between my abs she loves so much, tentatively pressing my crown into her wet heat. It’s fucking torture slowly sliding against her walls. I’m stretching and filling her, cursing while she learns what she likes. Slow circles, back and forth, side to side . . . her hips find what suits them best, and finally, when she’s fully seated on my cock, she tips her head back with her jaw falling open.
“Cam,” she whimpers.
“Fuck me.” I brace myself when she picks up speed, feeling my balls draw up tight at the sight. With her hands supporting her weight on my chest, her breasts are right in front of me, and I can’t help myself when I force her dress down to let them fall exactly where I want them to.
My tongue darts out to lick her nipple, and she cries out in bliss before riding me harder. Her ass is smacking against my thighs, the car windows beginning to fog out around us, and I swear, I’ve only got about ten seconds in me before I fill up this condom to the fucking rim.
“It feels so good,” she moans. “I don’t know how to—”
“It’s okay,” I soothe her. “Fuck me, baby. Let yourself feel all of it. Take me.”
Then I cautiously lift my hips to give her more, and the sound she makes nearly tips me over the edge.
“So good,” I praise her, swiping my fingers against her clit. “You ride it so fucking good. Look at you.”
“Cam, I—”
Her pussy clenches around me before the scream flies out of her, and I’m damn sure relieved no one is around us for miles, because if they were, I have no doubts they would hear her.
I pound into her in frenzied, erratic thrusts. Sweat forms on my brow as I admire her postorgasmic smile while she rides out her high. Her nipples are erect, goose bumps pebble her skin, and her nails are digging into my chest when I find release, moaning her name like a curse and a blessing wrapped into one.
I’ve been uncertain about a lot of things in my life, but Maddie Davis has never been one of them. Ethan asked me the other night at the hospital if I was sure about her the same way he was about Maya, and at the time, I didn’t know how to answer it because I was scared of making a promise to him that I couldn’t keep.
But right now? As she collapses on my chest and my face is muffled by her curls?
She’s it for me, and there isn’t another girl in this entire world who could ever take her place.
Thirty-four
Cameron
Thirty minutes is all it takes for my night to go from fantastic to shitty.
As soon as I pull into the driveway after a night I’ll never forget with Maddie, I feel the buzzing in my pocket. The negative energy seems to ooze from my phone before I even check the contact, and sure enough, my father’s face appears on the screen.
With an elaborate sigh, I swipe to answer, my keys jingling in the background. “Hello?”
“What the hell has gotten into you, Cameron?” The tone of his voice makes me pause halfway to the front door. I’ve heard him angry with me plenty of times, but I’ve always been able to appease him somehow. This time, though, I have a strong suspicion that won’t be the case. “A credit card charge for five hundred dollars? I don’t know what to do with you anymore!”
“I’ll pay it off myself,” I reply. “You don’t have to worry about it.”
“And how are you planning to do that with football? I thought we agreed that this card would only be used for emergencies.”
“We did.”
“And a fucking hot air balloon ride was an emergency? For fuck’s sake, son. I’m going to ask this one time and one time only. Are you still seeing Maddie? Is she the reason for the charge?”
I bite down on my tongue when the urge to let it all out in the open overwhelms me. Everyone knows, so what’s the point in hiding it? I don’t care if my dad disapproves. I’m a grown adult capable of making my own decisions. He doesn’t get to dictate whether or not I date someone.
I’m tired of trying to make everyone happy but me.
“I took her out,” I reply, fumbling with the keys to unlock the door. All the lights are off when I step inside, a blaring reminder of how alone I am physically and emotionally. “We’re dating, and we’re happy. She’s more than just another girl to me, and—”
He cuts me off, his words as sharp as a knife. “We talked about this. You don’t need distractions. You’re so close to getting everything you’ve ever worked for, and now you’re going to risk messing that up for her? Wait a few years when you’re established and drafted. You can’t handle a girl and football at the same time. Not when you both live so far away from one another.”
“And you know that how?” He hardly knows me. Aside from memorizing my exercise routine so I can be fit enough and have the endurance for football, he knows nothing about what I’m capable of handling anymore. Truthfully, he’d be shocked to know just how much I can carry on my shoulders.
“You’re not ready for a relationship,” he continues, ignoring my question. “We’ve worked too hard for this moment, and I’m not going to sit by and let a girl get in the way of it.”
“How has Maddie gotten in the way of anything?” I explode. “I’m still working out. I’m still eating healthy. I’m still doing everything my trainer has instructed. Nothing has changed.”
“But hasn’t it? Your workout routine used to be in the morning, not at night, and all these charges for McDonald’s, pizza, and other junk food certainly wouldn’t be there if you weren’t with her. Whether you see it or not, she’s messing up the balance, and you can’t afford it.”
“How would you know anything—you aren’t even here?”
“I saw enough when I stopped by last week, and it’s not going to continue.”
Letting out a laugh of disbelief, I let my duffel bag drop to the floor. “Who I’m in a relationship with is none of your business, Dad. You can’t tell me who I can or can’t date.”
“I can if I’m paying for your tuition.”
My knuckles turn white around the phone. I’m staring into nothing but darkness as I let the threat sink in. My own father, the one who introduced me to my love of football in the first place, the man who used to be everything I looked up to and more is now threatening to pull my tuition if I continue this relationship.
“You can’t—”
“I can, and I will. Since the day you made the team your freshman year of high school, your dream has been to make your mother proud and get drafted to the NFL. Your mind is clouded by the potential of what could be with Maddie, and even though you can’t see it now, this is in your best interest.”
My chest is heaving, heart racing, and I’m two seconds away from chucking this phone at the goddamn wall. There is no way in hell this is happening. Maddie and I have overcome so much in just a short amount of time, and it’s all going to come down to this? To my dad controlling my life?
I want to tell him maybe my dreams have shifted. It’s not that football isn’t still one of them, but Maddie and building a life with her is a dream too. There has to be a way to have both. It can’t be all or nothing.
