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  Page numbers taken from the following print edition: ISBN 9781460766224

  Dedication

  To my beautiful wife Brij who, just like Galileo, is forging a new path for herself. Very proud. PH

  For my parents, Peter and Wendy Joyner. AJ

  Contents

  Note to Readers

  Dedication

  1. Everything’s Perfect . . . Almost

  2. The Annual Happy Valley Fair

  3. Cakes Don’t Bake Themselves

  4. Milkshake for the Cake Bake

  5. A Mysterious Figure

  6. Three Dogs

  7. The Dogfather

  8. Let Them Eat Cake

  About the Author and Illustrator

  Copyright

  1

  Everything’s Perfect . . . Almost

  The bright yellow sun had the perfect blue sky all to itself above Happy Valley. A blissful breeze shimmied the grass. The farm dogs were DELIGHTED as they frantically ran around the paddocks as if they were late for a train.

  Of course, they were not really late for anything. They were exactly where they wanted to be: HUFFING and PUFFING, RANTING and PANTING. Playing with birds and only occasionally stopping by the dam to hydrate.

  The farm dogs were reasonably new to Happy Valley. Rumour has it they had worked on a nearby farm in Hollow Creek and had been replaced by a tractor. The three of them were as thick as thieves and seemed to run on batteries. They just did not stop!

  They had arrived while Galileo was with the police force, so he was still trying to get his head around them. But it’s hard to get your head around dogs that are RUNNING AMOK. Frankly, they made Galileo tired simply watching them.

  They had even made an obstacle course around the stables and pigpen and chicken coop, which made all the animals’ heads spin. Yes, they were a lot, but they were FUN!

  BUSTER was the loudest of the three. His bark could wake a hibernating bear wearing headphones. Galileo was still getting to know the dogs, but he sensed that Buster had the shortest temper. Like most dogs, Buster was easily distracted by balls.

  SILVIO was the biggest of the dogs. He wasn’t the most co-ordinated of athletes. He once slipped on the obstacle course and fell headfirst into a big pile of mud in the pigpen. (At least, he hoped it was mud!) Silvio was also easily distracted by balls.

  CHARLEY was not only the fastest of the dogs but also the smartest. There were rumours that Charley spent her spare time solving crosswords and sudokus. Charley was super focused – unless, you guessed it, she saw a bouncing ball.

  Privately, Charley had been relieved to be replaced by a tractor at Hollow Creek. She was always after new challenges, and this gave her more time to commit to her puzzles.

  There was a fourth dog, MARLON, who didn’t run around with the other dogs. He stayed mostly in his rather large kennel at the top of the hill.

  Galileo hadn’t met Marlon yet as Marlon had not made much of an effort to become part of the Happy Valley community. The other animals made sure they always invited him to parties and get-togethers, but Marlon NEVER showed the slightest interest. Most of the animals had just accepted, sadly, that Marlon had very little interest in being their friend.

  It was impossible not to notice the three dogs because they brought so much energy to Happy Valley. So much so that everyone was now very well behaved – which, as much as Galileo hated to admit it, had provided a problem for him.

  Galileo had recently set up his very own DETECTIVE AGENCY, which was beyond his wildest dreams. After solving his first crime by capturing a ‘cat’ burglar, he was keen to solve more.

  Galileo had decided that if he was going to start up his own crime-busting business, he could use some HELP. He needed someone who not only could see what was going on down on the ground, but also up in the air. And who better to provide a bird’s-eye view than, well, a bird.

  Agatha Wren was clearly chuffed when Galileo asked her.

  Galileo and Agatha got to work setting up the detective agency. They were pretty sure it was the world’s FIRST detective agency operated by a horse and a small bird.

  An old abandoned stable was the perfect place to set up their new office, although it needed some love and tenderness.

  Cobwebs dangled from every corner, broken panels swung from rusty nails and smashed lamps provided nothing but a safety hazard. All of this would be perfect if Galileo was hosting a Halloween party, but he was not. This stable needed to look professional. Otherwise, nobody would take this horse detective seriously.

  Galileo swept out the dust. Agatha revealed an uncanny and previously unknown talent for sign writing. And Galileo’s dad and mum, Octavius and Matilda, even helped with a new lick of paint.

  Galileo looked at the finished stable. He BEAMED like the man in the moon. All they had to do now was wait . . .

  But the fact was, crime was at an all-time low, which was not good for business. Not that Galileo wanted it any other way. He just wished HE was the one keeping Happy Valley safe.

  Galileo wasn’t exactly sure how the dogs were doing it, but everyone was behaving themselves like never before. In fact, everyone had been keeping to themselves much more. It was almost as if Happy Valley had become too quiet.

  Galileo sat at his desk and waited for the phone to ring, but his phone had become quieter than the Easter Bunny at Christmas.

  Galileo was getting bored. He looked through a pamphlet of this summer’s latest horseshoe designs.

  He turned the page and saw an ad for the upcoming Happy Valley Fair. This could be the perfect place to find somebody in need of a detective! he thought.

  All of a sudden, Galileo had a SPRING IN HIS STEP. Happy Valley may need his help again sooner rather than later. He couldn’t wait to get to the Fair.

  2

  The Annual Happy Valley Fair

  The opening of the Happy Valley Fair is the BEST day of the year. Everyone thinks so – even Piggsy, the Hampshire pig, who is hard to please.

  Galileo’s best friend Nessie loved this time of year too, and she was always the first to raise her hoof to volunteer to help make sure everything ran perfectly.

  Galileo wasn’t heading to the Fairgrounds to bob for apples or munch on fairy floss (although he did love doing both of those things!). He wanted to keep a keen eye out for trouble, so he could protect his community and kickstart his brand-new detective agency.

  He just needed to find a fox with a greedy eye for stealing hot dogs, or a sheep trying to sneak into queues for rides.

  This year was a special occasion, too: it was the 75TH YEAR of the Happy Valley Fair. To commemorate the grand occasion, they were going to attempt to break a world record and bake

  Everybody had been talking about the world record attempt for weeks. Even in Galileo’s office he could hear the BUZZ . . . although that could have been coming from the bees that had relocated just outside the window.

  As he strolled through the lush green paddock on the way to where they were setting up the Fair, Galileo waved to the cows as they were herded off to be milked. Clarissa, the CHEEKIEST of all the cows, did her usual joke . . .

  Galileo passed his father and mother on a trail ride as they took a nice couple from Argentina down to Not-Quite-Two-Mile Beach. Octavius gave Galileo a stern nod. He was still a little unsure about Galileo’s decision to leave the family business and begin a career in crime solving.

  Galileo was hoping his father hadn’t noticed that no crime had dropped into Galileo’s lap just yet. Surely somebody, somewhere needed some help.

  As Galileo headed towards the chicken coop, he passed by Buster, Silvio and Charley, who were DELIRIOUSLY chasing a tennis ball they had dug up. Galileo nodded at them, but they didn’t seem to be in the mood for a chat.

  Galileo popped his head in to see if the chickens were more open to a little catch-up.

  He knew the chickens had been busy laying eggs for the big cake challenge that was happening in two days’ time, so he didn’t want to disrupt them too much.

  The first thing Galileo noticed was that the chooks looked a little nervous. It probably didn’t help that you-know-who was hovering around their chicken coop.

  ‘How are the eggs coming along for the big day?’ Galileo asked.

  The chickens, who were not usually short for a word, were momentarily speechless before they started CLUCKING and SQUAWKING at each other. They were behaving as if they had just seen a CHICKEN GHOST.

  Before Galileo could say ‘Pardon?’, they flapped him out of the coop and abruptly shut the door behind him.

  Galileo didn’t know what had just happened, but he knew it was stranger than a dinosaur riding on a donkey. The question about the eggs really seemed to set them off.

  Galileo knew how much the organisers of the World’s Biggest Cake attempt were relying on the chickens for their eggs. Cakes need eggs like horses need hay.

  He thought he’d better pay a trip to the organisers to see if everything was on track for Happy Valley to enter the record books.

  3

  Cakes Don’t Bake Themselves

  The preparation for Happy Valley Fair was underway and animals were f locking in to help.

  Galileo was proud of his friend Nessie, who had done a great job wheeling the Ferris Wheel in, bumping in the Bumper Cars and slinging in the Slingshot.

  The MAIN STAGE stood proudly, smack bang in the middle of the Fairgrounds. A banner was hanging overhead, somewhat smugly announcing . . .

  But underneath the smug banner was a worried Fair President, Marjorie Marmalade. (Marjorie had reportedly changed her name from Sandra Strawberry because she much preferred marmalade over strawberry jam.)

  Galileo approached the fretting Marjorie. ‘Is everything okay, Marjorie?’

  ‘Is it that obvious?’ she replied.

  It may not be obvious to an amateur detective. But for a well-trained, ex-police horse detective like Galileo, it was as obvious as candles on a cake. Marjorie was TREMBLING like a plant in the shadow of a dog’s lifted hind leg.

  ‘It’s the cake. We can’t . . . we won’t be . . . cakes don’t bake themselves!’ she finally blurted after her multiple attempts to say what was on her mind.

  Galileo had never seen Marjorie so FRAZZLED. Right now she could have out-frazzled even the frazzliest of frazzles.

  Marjorie bellowed.

  Galileo was as confused as a hand puppet on the hand of a statue. But as a detective, Galileo’s brain was trained to make connections. So it didn’t take him long to connect the chickens’ weird behaviour to the lack of eggs for the World’s Biggest Cake.

  Marjorie continued. ‘The chickens agreed a month ago to supply us with enough eggs for the world record cake attempt, but now they are saying they have NO EGGS! Chickens with no eggs – that’s ridiculous! And now with the TV news coming to cover the world record attempt, this could be the most HUMILIATING day in the history of Happy Valley!’

  That was saying something, considering some of the headlines coming out of Happy Valley in recent years.

  Before Galileo could ask Marjorie any more questions, she had shuffled off to collapse in a giant stash of handkerchiefs.

  Galileo walked away. The sobs of Marjorie got quieter and quieter, until finally he could think clearly.

  Marjorie had also mentioned milk being unavailable. But Galileo had seen the cows heading towards the milking shed – SURELY they wouldn’t have been heading there if they didn’t have milk in their udders.

  Galileo hoped the cows could provide more answers than Marjorie and the chickens.

  4

  Milkshake for the Cake Bake

  By the time Galileo made his way to the cowsheds, the cows had been milked and were doing their wind-down stretches.

  Galileo found Clarissa on her yoga mat near the fence line. He felt bad interrupting her in the middle of her downward dog pose.

  ‘Hi, Clarissa,’ Galileo offered. ‘How —’

  But before he could ask about her morning, Clarissa cut him off.

  ‘Everything is fine and absolutely very normal . . . Nothing out of the usual . . . Nothing at all.’

  Clarissa was always fun. A real animal-pleaser. She was also very honest. But there was something in the way her tail was swooshing, and her eyelids were flickering, that made Galileo believe that something STRANGE was happening.

  ‘So, everything is very normal this morning, and nothing weird has happened at all?’ Galileo asked. He watched Clarissa for more visual clues.

  ‘Yep, yep, yep,’ Clarissa mooed back.

  ‘So, you gave your milk to Farmer Tom, then Farmer Tom gave your milk to Marjorie Marmalade for the World’s Biggest Cake attempt?’

  Galileo knew that Marjorie hadn’t received any milk, and he also knew that Clarissa couldn’t bear to LIE. He felt like he was watching a movie. He secretly wished he had a box of popcorn to munch on while he waited to see how Clarissa would react.

  Clarrisa’s eyes watered, her lips quivered, and her tail whipped and whirled like a gushing garden hose that somebody had accidentally let go of.

  ‘I have to go,’ Clarissa eventually said.

  She waddled off to join the other cows, who also seemed keen NOT to talk to Galileo.

  ‘Where to?’ asked Galileo.

  ‘I have to practise jumping over the moon,’ Clarissa hastily replied, before she and the other cows disappeared over the hill and seemingly far away.

  This confirmed for Detective Galileo that something was up, and he was just the horse to crack the case.

  Upon returning to his office, he found Agatha on the phone.

  ‘Well, that was strange,’ Agatha said as she lowered the receiver back into its cradle with her feet.

  ‘What was strange?’ enquired Galileo.

  ‘They didn’t say WHO it was, but they said they have noticed YOU sniffing around and may be able to help with your curiosity. They said to meet them at Not-Quite-Two-Mile Beach at the break of dawn tomorrow.’

  ‘Hmmm,’ Galileo pondered, ‘but how will I know it’s them?’

  ‘They said they would be wearing a distinguishable hat,’ Agatha replied.

  ‘Well, if they shall be wearing a distinguishable hat, so shall I,’ Galileo announced excitedly.

  FINALLY, HE MAY BE ON THE VERGE OF GETTING SOME ANSWERS.

  5

  A Mysterious Figure

  Galileo arrived ten minutes early to his rendezvous at dawn at Not-Quite-Two-Mile Beach. He was wearing the only hat he could find at short notice.

  He was both ANXIOUS and EXCITED. Anxious because what if whoever was to meet him was dangerous like a wood-chopping pig with fogged up glasses . . .

  But excited because this meeting could break the case of the missing milk and eggs wide open, and it was time to get the World’s Biggest Cake baked. The townspeople were beginning to lose hope, thinking that their efforts would be for nothing, and that they may become a laughing-stock to neighbouring towns.

  Mostly Galileo was just excited because FINALLY somebody was ready to talk.

  His excitement began to dip as the sun slowly drifted higher and higher into the air. The further the sun soared across the sky, the later the mysterious figure was – and the more worried Galileo became that the mysterious figure had changed their mind about meeting him.

  Galileo felt as deflated as a beach ball after it had rolled into a beehive. He decided he would wait another ten minutes before giving up.

  TEN MINUTES LATER, Galileo decided to wait another five minutes . . .

  FIVE MINUTES LATER, Galileo decided to wait another three minutes . . .

  THREE MINUTES LATER, Galileo decided to wait one more minute . . .

  ONE MINUTE LATER, Galileo decided to give them ten more minutes, just in case they had slept in . . .

  Finally, Galileo decided that the mysterious figure had mysteriously decided not to show up. As he wandered up the dunes of Not-Quite-Two-Mile Beach, Agatha flew down, chirping her little heart out.

  ‘Galileo, you must follow me back to the office! There has been a break-in!’ Agatha was feeling awful that this had happened while she was out early looking for worms. (Agatha always believed being early was key in finding the best worms.)

  Galileo galloped back to the office. HIS NOSTRILS FLARED ANGRILY as he imagined somebody trying to disrupt his detective work, somebody trying to ruin his dream of becoming a proper detective.

  He arrived to find a REAL MESS. His desk had been turned upside down and files were splayed everywhere.

  The staff portraits had been smashed, which upset Galileo because he particularly liked how his hair had looked that day.

  ‘Who would do this?’ cried Agatha.

  Galileo was asking himself the same question. Everyone at Happy Valley seemed proud of Galileo for chasing his dream of becoming a detective. But obviously not everybody was happy about it.

  Galileo noticed a message written on the ground using sticks.

  It was clear to Galileo now that he had made an enemy. But who?

  Galileo was FRUSTRATED, but if somebody went to the effort of breaking into his stable, it must mean Galileo was hot on their tail. That made his tail FLIP and FLOP with excitement.

  Who writes cryptic, threatening messages using sticks? Galileo picked up one of the sticks that formed part of a T and noticed some teeth marks . . . And those teeth marks had a distinctly canine look about them.

 

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