Choosing forever, p.1
Choosing Forever, page 1
Choosing Forever
The Forever Series Collection
JLynn Autumn
Copyright 2022 JLynn Autumn. All rights reserved. In accordance with the US Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and the theft of the author’s intellectual property. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the author’s express written permission except for brief quotations used in a book review.
Cover Design: Shower of Schmidt
Book Formatting: J.L. Dunn
Editing: Cam Rei Editing and Kate Seger
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Contents
Content Note
Dedication
Resisting Forever
1. Prologue
2. Chapter One
3. Chapter Two
4. Chapter Three
5. Chapter Four
6. Chapter Five
7. Chapter Six
8. Chapter Seven
9. Chapter Eight
Epilogue
Bonus Epilogue
Chasing Forever
10. Prologue
11. Chapter One
12. Chapter Two
13. Chapter Three
14. Chapter Four
15. Chapter Five
16. Chapter Six
17. Chapter Seven
18. Chapter Eight
19. Chapter Nine
Epilogue
Finding Forever
20. Chapter One
21. Chapter Two
22. Chapter Three
23. Chapter Four
24. Chapter Five
25. Chapter Six
26. Chapter Seven
Epilogue
Rediscovering Forever
27. Chapter One
28. Chapter Two
29. Chapter Three
30. Chapter Four
31. Chapter Five
32. Chapter Six
33. Chapter Seven
34. Chapter Eight
Forever Series Epilogue Available
Free Book
About JLynn
Also By JLynn Autumn
Acknowledgments
Content Note
This novel is for adults,18+. It contains mature content and sensitive situations including steamy scenes, and explicit language.
Resisting Forever: contains discussion of a relationship breakup in the past. References to childhood parent abandonment and divorce. On-page references to consumption of alcohol.
Chasing Forever: contains discussion of BDSM lifestyle and contains on-page scenes with spanking and restraint. References to a relationship breakup. Discussions about marriage and future children. Mentions of a side character with chronic illness including dementia and a history of strokes. References to childhood parent abandonment.
Finding Forever: contains discussions of a one-night stand. On-page references to consumption of alcohol.
Rediscovering Forever: contains discussions of divorce, death of spouse, and past miscarriage. Mentions of a side character with chronic illness including dementia and history of strokes. On-page references to consumption of alcohol.
To Melissa, Tere, and Sarah, my first fans who didn’t know me in real-life. Thank you for continuing to support this dream.
Resisting Forever
Forever Series 1 - Sam & Brooke
Resisting Forever was originally published in the Resisting You anthology. This is an extended version of that story.
Prologue
Sam
I scan the gate for an open seat and spot one with an unobstructed view of the walkway and two other nearby gates.
Perfect.
I set my backpack on the floor between my feet and pull a magazine from the pocket. Scanning the gates, I search for her honey color curls. It’s been eight years since I’ve seen her, so I check faces too in case she changed her hair. No one even slightly similar passes by. I already spent close to two hours searching other gates, shops, and restaurants throughout the airport and had her paged twice with no response.
It’s always a long shot, but I search for you every day. I search every hotel lobby, restaurant, bar, and airport. I’ve looked for you every day since you left home a year after I last saw you, crying on your granny’s porch steps. I’ll never stop looking for you.
I slowly scan each row on the plane, searching for her sapphire eyes. Once seated, I watch every passenger board. I know that fate will put the two of us in the same place one day. It has to.
I promised her it would one day. I had to walk away from her so she’d chase her dreams. I know I did what was best for her, but I will always regret it until I find her again.
Come on, Brooke. Where are you? Don’t give up on me, baby. I’m going to find you. Do the thing I was too afraid to ask you to do. Wait for me, please. Baby, wait for me.
Chapter One
Brooke
Coffee and calendar updates have become my morning routine after a nice, long shower. I stare at this week’s schedule. I’m in town for five days this trip. I’m always on a countdown to get out once I get here, but after a month or two, I’m searching for a gap in my schedule to get back. I rearranged this trip a bit already. Initially, I was supposed to get in late tomorrow night and leave on Friday, but my next shoot starts Saturday, so I have to leave on Thursday instead. I rescheduled some appointments and flew in early. My eyes wander over this week’s appointments and stop on his name.
I hope I’m doing the right thing. I want to see him, but I’m also terrified.
I grab my sketchbook and head to my back porch. It’s been two years since this house became mine, but it didn’t start feeling like home until last Thanksgiving. That’s when I brought the last of my stuff from Seattle and officially made this place my permanent residence.
Granny left this house to me and wanted me to make it a home. On my last trip to see her, she told me she wanted me to have roots in this town because it would always be home. She was right. No matter how much I didn’t want to admit it, Louisiana, specifically this town, would always be home. I ran from here as soon as I could, but I always find myself coming back.
I sit on the chair in the corner of the porch and look toward the hunting lands. Scanning the horizon for the maple tree, I open my sketch pad and begin adding details. Memories of that land, that tree, and that boy flood me. The weight of everything that I’ve avoided for years consumes me.
I’ve spent years looking for him in crowded airports. I scan every seat on airplanes, hoping he’s on the flight. He left me sitting on these porch steps eight years ago and promised that if we were meant to be, the way we thought we were, fate would bring us together again. He wanted me to live my life and not wait for him. His college scholarship gave him his path out of this town, and I wanted him to take it.
I had two more years of school before I could follow him. I hadn’t told him I would follow him, but he knew, and that’s why he broke my heart.
‘Brooke, your dream is art school in San Francisco. I can’t let you give that up for me. One day, fate will bring us together. Until then, live your life, baby. Chase your dreams. I can’t ask you to give up your dreams to follow me while I chase mine. You’ll always be the only one I want, but I won’t let you regret me, even if it means I’m the one to break your heart. I know I promised I’d never do anything to hurt you. I’m sorry that I’m breaking that promise, but I’m doing it because I can’t let you regret me, and I won’t let you give up your dreams for me. Always remember that I love you, and I always have.’
He kissed my forehead and then turned and walked away from me. I waited for him to turn back and look at me. I waited for him to change his mind, but he didn’t. He never looked back, and he never came back to town. I always thought he’d come back for me, but he didn’t.
I cover my face with my hands and lean forward.
Come back for me, Sam. Please.
Chapter Two
Sam
Rolling toward the warm sunlight that peeks through the bedroom curtains, I can’t remember the last time I woke to sunlight and birds chirping instead of my alarm. I need this vacation, and I need time at home.
I chose to chase my career because of the incredible travel opportunities. Still, I never knew that meant my apartment wouldn’t feel like home. The only place that has felt like home is this town. It’s good to be back, even if being back means that I’m sleeping in my childhood bedroom on the twin-size bed that I outgrew in high school but never asked Mama to replace. I’ve added a couple inches since high school, so my feet hang even further off the edge when I stretch out.
I sit up and stretch my back while raising my arms over my head. I run my hand down my arm from shoulder to wrist and look at how well the ink has healed from my latest tattoos. Mama hates that I’ve documented my journeys with tattoos that remind me of each trip. Standing in front of the dresser, I quickly apply tattoo lotion to the new ink and my other arm and chest. I chuckle to myself as I remember her words when she picked me up last night. ‘I think you’re a walking art piece. Are you done yet?’
Good thing she doesn’t know about the work I’ve added to my back or that I’ve scheduled an appoint ment while I’m in town.
I couldn’t believe my luck that Nash Wilde was doing a guest spot half an hour from here while I’m home. I booked a session for Monday. I’ve followed Nash’s career for five years and have practically stalked the website, hoping one day our schedules would land us near each other. I decided years ago that if I could ever get an appointment, I wanted Nash to design the piece entirely. I’ve saved my right forearm for the piece. I would have two designs to choose from when I got there. I have a feeling I am going to love them and wish I had time to get both.
I grab my favorite t-shirt from the drawer and put it on before pulling on a pair of jeans and sliding into my Vans. Looking at myself in the mirror as I walk toward the hall, I can already hear Mama’s voice. ‘You still dress like a teenager. You wouldn’t know from the looks of you that you were a successful business owner running your own travel magazine.’
Halfway down the stairs, the smell of breakfast hits me. Biscuits, sausage gravy, and unless I have completely lost my ability to identify a meal based on smell, Mama had started a pot of black-eyed peas and greens. I find her in the kitchen stirring gravy. The timer on the oven goes off right as I enter the kitchen.
“I’ll get the biscuits,” I say.
She turns and looks at me. “Samuel, you have always had perfect timing to wake your lazy bones up and get into this kitchen just in time to eat.” She tosses me an oven mitt.
I open the oven, pull the biscuits out, and smile when I see the tomato pie.
“Thank you. This is way too much food. I know what’s in the pot on the back of the stove. How long have you been up?”
“About two hours, but I’m always up at the same time every day. I’ve never been a sleep-the-day away person. I’ll make cornbread tonight to go with the peas and greens. I’m taking tomorrow off and probably Monday too. You’re cooking.”
“I can do that. I don’t do much cooking anymore, but I can handle the grill.”
I set the table, then bring the biscuits and tomato pie to the table. Mama brings the gravy to the table while I pour water and juice for the two of us.
Once we serve our plates, she looks across the table to me and says, “How long are you staying?”
“At least a week,” I reply as I slice two biscuits.
“Do you have a return flight?”
“Nope,” I say as I pour gravy over the biscuits. “I have no idea where I’m off to next, so I figured I’d book a flight once I knew. I have a few weeks before I need to start formatting and editing to get the next publication out. I don’t have any freelance articles right now. It will be nice just to be home and low-key for at least a week.”
“Any plans with friends? Are you seeing anyone while you’re home?”
I finish my bite before I reply. “I don’t have many friends in town, Mama. You know that. I ran from here and never looked back, other than a trip home every couple of years to see you. I usually convince you to vacation somewhere each year, so I have an excuse not to be here.”
She sets her fork down and leans forward. “I’ve never understood why you don’t come back more. You loved this place growing up, didn’t you? That’s why you begged to stay when I talked about moving.”
“I loved it, but I screwed up. I broke up with Brooke the week before I left for college, thinking I was giving her a chance to enjoy her last two years of school without dating long distance. I regretted it as soon as I did it. I’ve avoided coming home because I don’t want to see her and see her happy with someone else.”
Mama laughs. “Well, you don’t have to worry about that. Brooke’s hardly ever in town. She graduated early and moved about a year after you did. She went to some fancy art school in San Francisco and then moved to Seattle. She travels everywhere now. I keep waiting for you to tell me that fate put the two of you on the same flight someday.”
You’re not the only one waiting for that, Mama. I’ve been scanning airports, flights, and crowded restaurants for years, hoping fate would intervene.
“I heard she’s a fancy artist now. The only person I still talk to from town is Cole.”
“Her cousin,” Mama says as she stands to get more gravy.
I didn’t realize that I finished three more biscuits and the gravy while we’ve been talking.
“Yeah. He’s been my best friend since birth. Even if I tried, there’s no way he’d let me disappear from his life, so I didn’t even try. He told me Brooke’s a sought-after photographer and artist and that she travels most of the year. That’s all I’ve heard about her.”
“Well, that’s about what everyone knows. She comes to town more frequently than you and always makes it home for at least one holiday, definitely more than you can say,” Mama says with a raised eyebrow as she sets the gravy down and takes her seat.
Guilt washes over me. I can’t remember the last time I was in this house for a holiday. I usually make our holidays a vacation and take Mama to a beach somewhere instead. Small town Thanksgiving or Christmas just isn’t my thing.
I know it’s a stupid reason not to come home and that I have no right to avoid Brooke when I was the one who ended things. Who ends up with their high school sweetheart, anyway? I can’t help but wonder if we could have made it. At the time, I thought we wanted different things in life. Now, we are both photographers, different styles, but still both photographers, and we both travel the world for a living.
Maybe we could have made it after all.
I’ve avoided home for years because I don’t want to see her happy with someone else. Yet, Cole has never mentioned Brooke dating anyone. I never ask and don’t want to know. I’m sure she is because she’s intelligent, funny, kind, and only an idiot would let her get away. I know that because I’m the idiot who left her crying on her Grandma’s porch steps eight years ago.
Mama breaks the silence by asking, “What do you have planned while you’re home?”
“I need to visit Granny. I know she won’t have a clue who I am, but I still need to visit. I called the home and arranged to go there this afternoon. I’m going to help in the game room. They said she never misses bingo.”
“That’s true. She loves a good bingo game. She gets upset now when people visit specifically for her, and she doesn’t recognize them, so I’m glad you’re going to game night. That’s how I usually visit too.”
“Does she need any books or anything?”
“No, she doesn’t read anymore. She looks through the pictures in magazines. I have a few subscriptions sent to her. When she finishes with them, they put them in the library for everyone else to enjoy. I’ll send you with some shower stuff to drop off.”
I grab the last biscuit from the basket, break it in half, and use it to clean the remaining gravy off my plate. “This is the best food in the world. I’ve eaten in almost every country, and nothing beats food from this kitchen, Mama. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. You never told me the rest of your plans while you’re home. Sitting here and helping with games at the home isn’t much of a vacation, Samuel.”
“It’s all I have planned for sure. I know I’ll see Cole. He’s working today, but he’s off tomorrow, so I’m sure he’ll come by and drag me out of the house. Can I borrow your car on Monday? I need to go to Pecan Ridge. I have an appointment at eleven.”
“Samuel Brian Graves, are you getting another tattoo?”
“Yes, ma’am. I am. Nash Wilde is doing a guest spot, and I’ve been stalkin’ that website for almost five years, tryin’ to get an appointment, but our schedules never bring us anywhere near each other. I’ve missed appointments by a day or two a few times. It’s incredibly frustrating.”
Mama smiles as she stands to clear the table. “Well, because it’s Nash Wilde, I won’t comment on your growing tattoo collection.”
I stand and look at her. “How do you know about Nash?”
