Polo rc 3, p.1
Polo rc-3, page 1
part #3 of Rutshire Chronicles Series
Polo
( Rutshire Chronicles - 3 )
Jilly Cooper
In Jilly Cooper's third Rutshire chronicle we meet Ricky France-Lynch, who is moody, macho, and magnificent. He had a large crumbling estate, a nine-goal polo handicap, and a beautiful wife who was fair game for anyone with a cheque book. He also had the adoration of fourteen-year-old Perdita MacLeod. Perdita couldn't wait to leave her dreary school and become a polo player. The polo set were ritzy, wild, and gloriously promiscuous. Perdita thought she'd get along with them very well.
But before she had time to grow up, Ricky's life exploded into tragedy, and Perdita turned into a brat who loved only her horses - and Ricky France-Lynch.
Ricky's obsession to win back his wife, and Perdita's to win both Ricky and a place as a top class polo player, take the reader on a wildly exciting journey – to the estancias of Argentina, to Palm Beach and Deauville, and on to the royal polo fields of England and the glamorous pitches of California where the most heroic battle of all is destined to be fought – a match that is about far more than just the winning of a huge silver cup...
Jilly Cooper
POLO
A LEGEND OF FAIR WOMEN AND BRAVE MEN
To Felix
with all love
AUTHOR’S NOTE
To avoid confusion, I should point out that although Polo brings back many of the characters from my earlier books Riders and Rivals, it is not, in the strictly chronological sense, a sequel. The story begins in the very early 1980s, a year after Riders ended and Rupert Campbell-Black split up from his wife Helen. It finishes in the late 80s, two years after the end of Rivals.
A word of explanation is in order about the handicapping system in polo which is at least as complicated as A level maths.
A full game of polo consists of six chukkas of approximately seven minutes each. There are four players in each team: a forward at No. 1, two midfield players at Nos. 2 and 3 and a back at No. 4. Every player has a rating known as a ‘handicap’, which is reassessed by the polo authorities twice a year. These handicaps reflect individual ability and range from minus two for an absolute beginner up to a maximum of ten for the very best players. No Englishman has been rated at ten since the Second World War.
The term ‘high-goal polo’ in England means that the aggregate handicap of a team entered for a particular tournament must be between 17 and 22. A 22-goal team, for example, could be composed of a forward with a handicap of two, two midfield players, each on eight, and a back on four. In Palm Beach, where the standard is higher, the ceiling for a high-goal side is 26, and in Argentina as high as the ultimate 40, with each of the members of the team on ten. No player can take part in high-goal polo unless he has at least a handicap of one.
In medium-goal matches the aggregate handicap of the team is normally between 16 and 12 and in low goal between 8 and 0.
Most tournaments are based on handicap. Thus the team with the higher aggregate concedes goals at the start of a match to the other side.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
One of the joys of writing this book has been the friends I made during my research. I have seldom encountered more charming or helpful people than among the polo community. Travelling alone to strange places can be very daunting. I am therefore eternally grateful to Ronald Ferguson and Pilar Boxford for opening so many doors for me and, above all, to Geoffrey and Jorie Kent in Palm Beach and Jean-Jacques and Zou Zou de Wolff and their family in Argentina for offering me endless hospitality, the run of their yards, introductions to top-class players, grooms and ponies alike, and transforming what might have been a terrifying ordeal into a great adventure.
Many other people helped me. Like those referred to above, they are all skilled in their own fields, but, as I was writing fiction, I only heeded their advice in so far as it fitted my story. The accuracy of the book in no way reflects their expertise or their views. They include:
Anthony and Mary Abrahams, Sally Armstrong, Paula Atkins, Susan Barrantes, Garth and Diana Bearman, Steve and Sandi Berg, Garth and Pat Booth, Michael Brown, Nene Martinez Castro, Peter Cadbury, Johnnie Cahen-D’Anvers, Alina Carter, Charles and Tita Carter, Sarah Clark, Louise Cooper, Richard and Rosie Costelloe, Leone Cran, Francis Craven, John and Liza Crisp, Robert Cudmore, Kuldip Singh Dhillon, Gabriel Donoso, Richard Dunhill, Taylor Duvalle, John Ellis, Tom and Gilly Emerson, Susan Ferguson, Tom Fletcher, Tracy Forman, Edward Fursden, Cecil Gifford, Martin Glue, Peter and Elizabeth Grace and their daughters Jane, Pippa, Victoria and Katie, Edward Green, Janet Greep, Terry Hanlon, Ritchie Harrison, Anthony and Sue Hayden-Taylor, Felicity Higson, Howard and Camilla Hipwood, Julian and Patricia Hipwood, John Horswell, John Hunter, Richard Jarvis, Gregg Keating, Chrissie and Brett Kiely, Dee Kiely, Alan and Fiona Kent, Kate Kavanagh, Robert and Sandi Lacey, Manuel Lainez, Mary Latz, Philippe Leopold-Metzger, Robert and Barbara Lindemann, Norman and Aly Lobel, Stewart Lodge, Dora Lowenstein, William Lucas, Cassandra MacClancy, Stuart and Chrissie Mackenzie, the late Charles Mackenzie-Hill, Anthony Marangos, Cassandra Marchessini, David Marchwood, Ted Marriage, Gil Martin, Sherry Merica, George and Sarah Milford-Haven, Edgar Miller, Sheila Murphy, Caroline Neville, Alex Olmos, Joan Pardey, Andrew Parker-Bowles, David Phillips, Hilary Pilkington, Mike Ponting, Billy and Dawn Raab, Laura Lee Randall, Timmy Roach, Derek Russell-Stoneham, Edwina Sandays, Maggie, Allan and Warren Scherer, Andrew Seavill, Anthony Sebag-Montefiore, Sam and Angie Simmonds, J.P. Smail, Adam Snow, Scott Swedlin, Harriet Swift, Peter Thwaites, Henry and Mandy Tyrone, Andrea Vianini, Walter Wade Welsh, Alana Weston, Caroline Wheeler, Jack and Marjory Williams, Nick, Ginny, Zoe and Rod Williams, Francis Willey, and Paul Withers.
Nor as a writer does one automatically expect generosity from one’s own profession, but few could have been kinder or more unstinting with encouragement, time and advice than William and Lilo Loyd, John and Lavinia Watson, John and Cilla Lloyd, Hugh and Maria Ines Dawnay, and Michael Hobday.
Although I enjoyed hospitality in polo clubs internationally, I am especially privileged to live near one of the loveliest polo clubs in the world, Cirencester Park. I would therefore like to thank the Earl and Countess Bathurst, The Hon. Mark and Rosie Vestey and, particularly, Douglas and Sally Brown, Ronnie and Diana Scott, Alison Roeves, Eika Clark, Claire Millington, Sarah Ridley, Ted Allen and all the other staff and members of the club for all their tolerance, friendliness and co-operation.
I must also stress that Polo is a work of fiction, and none of the characters is based on anyone, except when they are so famous or so central to the polo world – as Ronald Ferguson or Terry Hanlon are – that they appear as themselves. Any resemblance to any living persons or organizations is purely coincidental and wholly unintentional. The polo world, however, is full of legends and wonderful anecdotes, and if an incident or a line of dialogue is attributed to a character in the book, this character is on no way intended to portray the original subject of the anecdote or the speaker of the line of dialogue.
Polo took a long time to write. I am therefore deeply grateful to my publishers at Transworld: Paul Scherer, Mark Barty-King, Patrick Janson-Smith, and all their staff for their kindness and encouragement. I also had marvellous editorial help from Diane Pearson, Broo Doherty and Tom Hartman.
In addition I am immeasurably lucky to have Desmond Elliott not only as my literary agent, but as my best friend.
Polo is a very big book and consequently I owe a vast debt of gratitude to Annette Xuereb-Brennan, Annalise Dobson and Anna Gibbs-Kennet, who bravely deciphered my ghastly handwriting and typed great chunks of the manuscript; and also to Beryl Hill, Diane Peter, Jane Brooks, Chris Ingersent, Verity Tilling and Catherine Parkin, who all typed individual chapters. Thanks should also go to Tony Hoskins and Diane Stevens for driving me to numerous polo matches.
Nor could the book ever have been written without the stoical back-up of Ann Mills, whose obstacle race over the piles of books and papers to clean my study resembled participation in the Grand National rather than a polo match, or Jane Watts, my PA, who spent hours collating manuscripts, transcribing corrections and generally providing cheer and comfort when I despaired the book would ever be finished.
It is not easy living with a writer, who is totally absorbed when a book is going well and suicidal when it is going badly. Therefore the lion’s share of my gratitude must go to my family, including my mongrel Barbara and her agent Gypsy (who met a very nice class of dog at polo matches) for their endless understanding and good cheer.
Finally, I would like to pay tribute to all the gallant ponies who take part in the game and to the grooms who spend such long hours looking after them.
CHARACTERS
BART ALDERTON: An American airplane billionaire. Polo patron of the Alderton Flyers.
GRACE ALDERTON: His second wife.
LUKE ALDERTON: Bart's son by his first wife. A professional polo player.
RED ALDERTON: Bart's and Grace's son. An unprofessional polo player.
BIBI ALDERTON: Bart's and Grace's daughter – a poor little rich girl.
THE HONOURABLE BASIL: English polo player, BADDINGHAM: jack of all trades.
PHILIP BAGLEY: A vet.
DREW BENEDICT: English polo player and a dashing Captain in the Welsh Guards.
SUKEY BENEDICT: His wife. An English heiress and jolly good sort.
JAMES BENSON: A smooth private doctor.
MRS BODKIN: Rupert Campbell-Black's housekeeper.
MARGIE BRIDGWATER: An American lawyer.
JAIME CALAVESSI: An Argentine polo player.
& nbsp; RUPERT CAMPBELL-BLACK: Show-jumping ace, later MP for Chalford and Bisley and Minister for Sport.
TABITHA CAMPBELL-BLACK: His daughter.
BRIGADIER CANFORD: Chairman of the Pony Club and later of the British Polo Association.
DOMMIE AND SEB CARLISLE: English polo players – known as the Heavenly Twins.
WINSTON CHALMERS: A shit-hot American lawyer.
LUCY CHALMERS: His ravishing much younger wife.
DORIS CHOW: A Chinese hooker.
KEVIN COLEY: A petfood billionaire and polo patron of Doggie Dins.
ENID COLEY: His awful wife.
TRACE COLEY: His daughter.
CONCHITA: Bart Alderton's maid.
CAMERON COOK: Director of Programmes at Corinium Television.
JACKIE COSGRAVE: Hippy painter and art lecturer. Also proficient in the art of lechery.
BRAD DILLON: Team manager of the American polo team.
RICKY FRANCE-LYNCH: A nine-goal English polo player, nicknamed El Orgulloso – the proud one – by the other players.
CHESSIE FRANCE-LYNCH: His bored, but exquisitely beautiful, wife.
WILLIAM FRANCE-LYNCH: Their three-year-old son.
HERBERT FRANCE-LYNCH: Ricky's father. A tartar and former nine-goal polo player.
FRANCES: Ricky France-Lynch's head groom.
DINO FERRANTI: American show-jumper. Sales Director of Ferranti's Inc.
BOBBY FERRARO: An American polo player.
COMMANDER 'FATTY': Club Secretary of Rutshire HARRIS: Polo Club.
SIMPSON HASTINGS: A lethal American journalist.
PAUL HEDLEY: A member of the crack South Sussex Pony Club team.
BRIGADIER HUGHIE: Chairman of Rutshire Polo Club and the club bore.
MRS HUGHIE: His wife.
INOCENTA: A misnamed Argentine beauty.
JESUS: A nine-goal Chilean polo player given to telephonitis and treble-dating patrons.
JOEL: Ricky France-Lynch's farm manager.
BEATTIE JOHNSON: A seductive, unprincipled, Fleet Street columnist.
JOSÉ: A glamorous Mexican ringer.
VICTOR KAPUTNIK: A Hungarian pharmaceutical billionaire, patron of the Kaputnik Tigers.
SHARON KAPUTNIK: A nymphomaniac night-club hostess later married to Victor.
MARMADUKE KEMPTON: A tobacco baron.
AURIEL KINGHAM: A very famous American film star.
MISS LEDITSKY: Bart Alderton's secretary.
BILLY LLOYD-FOXE: Ex-England show-jumper and BBC Sports Presenter.
JANEY LLOYD-FOXE: A national newspaper columnist.
MISS LODSWORTH: Commissioner for Rutshire Girl Guides, hoary polo groupie and a rip-roaring busybody.
JUSTIN AND PATRICK
LOMBARD: Brothers and members of Rutshire Pony Club polo team.
LOUISA: One of Ricky France-Lynch's grooms.
HAMISH MACLEOD: A television producer.
DAISY MACLEOD: His wife, a painter.
PERDITA MACLEOD: Daisy's daughter.
VIOLET MACLEOD: Hamish's and Daisy's daughter.
EDDIE MACLEOD: Hamish's and Daisy's son.
BRIDGET MACLEOD: Hamish's mother, an absolute bitch.
'DANCER' MAITLAND: A cockney rock star. Lead singer of Apocalypse.
LIONEL MANNERING: A goaty psychiatrist.
PHILIPPA MANNERING: His man-eating wife.
MANUEL: Bart Alderton's groom.
LANDO MEDICI: A bent polo patron.
ALEJANDRO MENDOZA: A ten-goal Argentine polo player, the greatest back in the world.
CLAUDIA MENDOZA: His wife.
LORENZO, LUIS AND PATRICIO MENDOZA: Alejandro's elder sons. All polo players.
CASSANDRA MURDOCH: Luke Alderton's girlfriend.
BEN AND CHARLES NAPIER: Eight-goal English polo players and brothers known as the Unheavenly Twins.
SHARK NELLIGAN: A nine-goal American polo player.
SETH NEWCOMBE: An ace American bone surgeon.
JUAN O'BRIEN: A ten-goal Argentine polo player. David Waterlane's hired assassin.
MIGUEL O'BRIEN: Juan's elder brother. Another ten-goal polo player and David Waterlane's second hired assassin.
TINY O'BRIEN: Juan's wife known variously as Sitting Bully and the Policia.
ROSIE O'GRADY: A comely nurse.
DECLAN O'HARA: An Irish television megastar.
MAUD O'HARA: His actress wife.
PATRICK O'HARA: His son.
TAGGIE O'HARA: His elder daughter. An angel.
CAITLIN O'HARA: His younger daughter.
MRS PAGET: A committee member of a London Adoption Society.
HAL PETERS: An American automobile billionaire and born-again Christian. Polo patron of Peters' Cheetahs.
MYRTLE PETERS: His wife.
RAIMUNDO: Alejandro's peticero and Master of the Horse.
SAMANTHA: Shark Nelligan's glamorous groom.
RANDY SHERWOOD: A Pony Club Adonis, member of the crack South Sussex polo team.
MERLIN SHERWOOD: Randy's younger brother, another Adonis, playing for South Sussex.
MRS SHERWOOD: Their glamorous mother.
ANGEL SOLIS DE GONZALES: An Argentine polo player and Falklands war pilot, whose brother Pedro was shot down and killed.
BETTY SOLIS DE GONZALES: Angel's aunt.
UMBERTO: Alejandro's groom.
HELMET WALLSTEIN: Chief Executive, Euro-Electronics.
GISELA WALLSTEIN: His wife.
SIR DAVID WATERLANE, BART: Owner of Rutminster Hall, patron of Rutshire Hall polo team.
CLEMENCY WATERLANE: His wandering wife.
MIKE WATERLANE: His son, also a polo player.
WENDY: Hamish Macleod's PA.
1
Queen Augusta’s Boarding School for Girls has a splendid academic reputation, but on a sweltering afternoon in June one of its pupils was not paying attention to her English exam. While her classmates scribbled away, Perdita Macleod was drawing a polo pony. Outside, the scent of honeysuckle drifted in through the french windows, the cuckoo called from an acid-green poplar copse at the end of the lawn. Perdita, gazing out, thought longingly of the big tournament at Rutshire Polo Club where the semi-finals of the Rutshire Cup were being played. All her heroes were taking part: Ricky France-Lynch, Drew Benedict, Seb and Dommie Carlisle, the mighty Argentines, Miguel and Juan O’Brien, and, to crown it, the Prince of Wales.
Fretfully, Perdita glanced at her exam paper which began with a poem by Newbolt:
‘And it’s not for the sake of a ribboned coat,’ she read,
‘Or the selfish hope of a season’s fame,
But his Captain’s hand on his shoulder smote –
Play up! Play up! and play the game!’
‘Are Newbolt’s views of team spirit outdated?’ asked the first question. Perdita took a fresh sheet of paper and wrote ‘Yes’ in her disdainful blue scrawl, ‘the schoolboy in the poem must be an utter jerk and a poofter to boot to prefer his captain’s hand on his shoulder to a season’s fame and a ribboned coat.’
She put down her pen and thought how much she’d like a ribboned coat, one of those powder-blue blazers, braided with jade-green silk. Hamish, her ghastly stepfather, never gave her nearly a large enough allowance. Then she thought of fame. Perdita wanted to be a famous polo player more than anything else in the world. Being at a boarding school, she could not play in the term-time and had so far only achieved the first team of a suburban pony club of hopelessly low standard. When her family moved to their splendid new house in Rutshire in the autumn, however, she’d be able to have a pony and join a good club like Rutshire or Cirencester just over the border.
God, she was bored with this exam. She lit a cigarette, hoping it would encourage her form-mistress, who was adjudicating, to expel her. But, despite the furious wavings of paper by the swot on her right, her form-mistress didn’t react. She was far too engrossed in Perdita’s Jackie Collins, which she’d confiscated the day before and round which she’d now wrapped the dust jacket of Hilary Spurling’s biography of Ivy Compton-Burnett.
Perdita took another drag and glanced at the next question: ‘Do you find the poems of Thomas Hardy unduly preoccupied with death?’
